Last week Sarah wrote a post about why it is important to her to have money in her own name. This post was not a surprise to me. It also should be of no surprise that I embrace what she wants fully and completely. If there is anything I can do to make the woman I love feel even a little bit more secure – I’m all for it. Having an account that can be used to escape a bad situation is a great idea for all women. Hiding it is not a good idea, but that may because we talk openly about money. If there are already red flags in your relationship there may not be a choice but to keep it secret.
Preparation And Expectations Are DIFFERENT
I know a lot of people (sorry I spelt men incorrectly), that would take this type of action by their wives as a threat. They would assume that if their wife wanted to have money put aside like this it meant she was expecting that at some point she would be subject to abuse in the relationship and needed to prepare for it. This is flawed logic. I carry an umbrella with me in my car at all times. If it rains I’d like to have something to protect myself. I don’t leave the house every day expecting it to rain, and more often than not it isn’t raining and I have no use for the umbrella. Preparation for something bad is smart.
Choosing An Amount
This is irrelevant in my mind; whatever amount you feel you need or can should be the target. We by no means have unlimited funds at our disposal but we do have money put aside for the future. I know that I will never be a danger to my wife, so that money will never be needed and so therefore I don’t care if it is in her name or my name – I still consider it our money. There are some things you might want to account for when choosing an amount. Money for a cab to get to a relative’s house, for a plane ticket if no relatives are close by, or a hotel stay if required. Money to make sure food is available and if there are children they need to be taken care of as well. Even a little bit to an account can make a difference over time. If there isn’t any extra money available, this is where it is even more important to have a credit card.
Why A Credit Card
Unfortunately there are things in our life that are realistically achievable only with credit. In order to get something substantial with credit, you need to already have credit. Without establishing a credit history, a bank would never provide you with something like a mortgage. If things go awry between partners and the woman needs to leave – without a credit history it may be an insurmountable task to reestablish a comfortable life.
Why Only The Wife, Why Can’t The Husband Have HIS Own Account?
No problem at all, there is no reason why that can’t be part of the discussion and if you would feel safer in your relationship having money that only you can access that should be something to strive for. It isn’t unheard of for the husband to encounter abuse from his wife so there is no reason not to get it done. Just as myself (as a white male), can experience prejudice – a husband can experience abuse. BUT ask yourself…is THAT really the prevalent issue that plagues our society? There is a difference between prejudice and oppression.
If this sounds overly righteous, I say TFB. Not trying to preach, or reach a new level of “woke”…I’m just trying to put it out there that this is a good idea and might actually strengthen your bond, not weaken it.
I’m open to discussing this with anyone who disagrees. So I ask you as a reader of my post – what would a good reason be to deny this request when it would make someone you love feel more safe/secure?